MLB

A Hall of Famer and a Degenerate Walk into the Afterlife

I wasn’t planning on writing about baseball in the middle of December. Nor finishing the year with a downer about somebody who I never met dying.

But Rickey Henderson has always been about disrupting gameplans.

I was saddened last weekend when news started trickling out that the all-time stolen-base leader was had gone off to play in the Field of Dreams. It took a while for it to hit official sources. Somebody sent me something from TMZ, but nothing was on CNN or ABC News. And MLB.com was awash in the Yankees signing Paul Goldschmidt. An important move, I’m sure, but I didn’t think it would trump a Hall of Famer dying. 

Unfortunately, before long, everybody was confirming it.

Old baseball players die. Heck, there was another baseball icon that died a few months ago that had everyone gushing over “playing the game the right way.” 

The only difference is Rickey never disgraced himself by belittling the sanctity of the game.

Truthfully, I wasn’t much of a Rickey fan for most of his career. Part of that might be because I grew up an Angels fan and he was indicative of everything that was frustrating about those dominant, arrogant A’s teams of the late 1980s. 

I mocked him often, as a guy who didn’t realize how dumb he was. He had one talent, being fast, without an ounce of reflection on any shortcomings or the basics of the game that made him a millionaire. He was a Jose Canseco without pop.

Although not even Canseco had the audacity to scream out “Today, I am the greatest of all time.” Except maybe when he was banging Madonna.

I remember one particular play that, to me, defined Rickey. Tie game, runner on third, less than two outs. The batter hit a towering foul ball. Rickey camped out under it. The runner on third tagged up, ready to dart home on a sacrifice fly. Tony La Russa was shouting from the dugout for Rickey to let the ball drop. Guessing the third baseman and centerfielder, and maybe half the stadium (this was back when fans attended A’s games), were yelling for him to let the ball drop foul, because if he caught it, the go-ahead run would score.

He caught it. The team lost. In the press conference after the game, Rickey said his job is to catch the ball, so he caught the ball.

As time went on, as Rickey got older and became an elder statesman, and maybe partly because I moved to Northern California and started watching more A’s games, my opinions of him shifted. I still think he might’ve been dumber than dirt. But I also think he was in on the joke.

Some of the things I thought he was lucky for, or maybe just an idiot savant, actually turned out to be talent. I wasm’t the only person at the time who thought getting walks was more a matter of luck than skill. If it was common knowledge, they wouldn’t have had to write a book about it.  

And Rickey’s stolen bases, especially as he got older, had less to do with speed, but n knowing when to run. In an interview, he claimed the elbow on the pitcher’s throwing arm was the tell he looked for. That’s some pretty deep knowledge for a pretty dumb guy. 

Then, of course, there’s the “Rickey being Rickey” stories, many of which have been confirmed by multiple players. The fact that when he got his first million dollar bonus, he hung the check on his wall instead of cashing it, which led the A’s to have accounting issues all year. Something they still seem to be suffering from today. 

When he played with John Olerud, who wore a helmet while playing first base, in San Diego, Rickey told him about some other guy he used to play with in Toronto who also wore a helmet. “Yeah, Rickey,” Olerud said. “That was me.”

And of course, his propensity to refer to himself in the third person. “Man, Rickey can’t do nothing without breaking a damn cleat.” That gem comes by way of Tony Gwynn, another baseball hero gone too soon.  Sometimes i forget he’s dead, and I turn on a Padres game and hear his son, who sounds just like him, doing color commentary and i think “Oh cool, Tony Gwynn” before remembering, once again, that he died.  

You know which recently-deceased baseball player I don’t give a shit about? Pete Rose.

Ironically, if I were to assess them during their actual careers, I would have had a much higher opinion of the all-time hit king than the all-time steal king.

I’ve already gone through my opinions of Rickey, and in many ways, Pete was the anti-Rickey. All grit, no flash. A workman instead of a showboat. And even better for kids my age, he was the host of “The Baseball Bunch,” a Saturday morning show that alternated between explaining the game, showing some highlights, and letting the famous San Diego Chicken run roughshod over a bunch of little leaeguers. 

Rickey never could’ve done The Baseball Bunch, because I’m not sure he could’ve read and memorized a script. Not even sure he could’ve explained all those nuances of the game he’d picked up through experience, like the pitcher’s elbow and when not to catch a foul ball. There are players who are great at explaining their process, like Greg Maddux, and there are guys who thrive through instinct. It’s why Bill Parcells, not Johnny Unitas, goes on to become a coach.

Plus, if Rickey had hosted a kid’s show, the entire thirty minutes would’ve been bleeped out.

But “The Baseball Bunch” was scripted. And Pete Rose wasn’t actually that calm and collected. He played every single game like he needed to prove the world wrong. 

Rhe defining moment of Pete Rose’s career was when he rounded third in the All-Star Game and, instead of sliding, barreled into the catcher, Ray Fosse, to dislodge the ball. Rose scored the run, his team… well, I don’t know if his team won or lost because it was a meaningless exhibition game. But I do know that Ray Fosse dislocated his shoulder and suffered fromongoing back pain that probably shortened his career as a result of the collision. 

Who the hell ends another man’s career to win a meaningless game? Maybe he had money on it.  

I can’t tell you how many obituaries I read saying Pete Rose played the game the right way. Like a hard-ass. As if the Yogi Berras of the world don’t want to win?

Interesting side note: Yogi Berra won a whole hell of a lot more than Pete Rose did. Pete did win one more than Rickey, but there’s a Kirk Gibson sized asterisk attached to that. And I don’t know how much Pete Rose did for that Phillies team. Three of his for seasons there, he was statistically worse than a replacement player. 

That’s what people loved about him. Even though he didn’t have a ton of talent, he still stuck around. Who cares if he fored his teammates to work around his terrible baserunning because he always hit singles!

His fans call that grit. He was just hyper- competitive, you see. He had nothing else in his life except hitting singles! 

Oh, and maybe the gambling. 

And again, i also loved that about him when he was playing. But I was also under the age of ten. You know what I realize is manly now? Realizing when you’ve lost a step. Not making those around you take a back seat to your ego. 

I’m in the wind-down of my career. i sure as hell don’t make others teach the way I used to. Scantrons all around! 

Sometimes it’s good to let those with a little less experience take the lead for a bit. You might learn some new skills like interactive timelines or media analysis. Or scoring from second on a single.

In his later years, Rickey took diminished roles on teams. Hell, he played for unaffiliated minor league teams in his late 40s because he loved the game so much. Or, more likely, because he didn’t know what else to do with his life. Maybe he should’ve taken up gambling. 

He then became a “roving minor league instructor” for the A’s, which basically meant he going to their minor league teams as a  motivator or a fun ambassador. We used to love him coming to Sacramento when they were an A’s affiliate. Here was a fifty-something Hall of Famer playing first base coach for some twenty year-olds. 

I know, I know. Pete Rose also stuck around the game. He managed. Until he got banned for betting on the games he managed.

Pete’s defenders say he never bet against his team. And that’s true. He only bet them to win. 

But!

He didn’t bet on his team to win every game. 

The most damning thing is that he managed the game differently in games where he did or did not bet on his team. So if he had a one-run lead late in a game he hadn’t bet on, he might leave his best pitchers in the bullpen, saving their arms for tomorrow, when he might make a bet. And I’m sure his bookies never took advantage of knowing which games the manager wanted to win and which games the manager was fine losing.

A lot of people who agree that the gambling was bad say it shouldn’t keep him out of the Hall of Fame. The Hall is based on what you do as a player, not a manager. And while there’s no official investigation into whether he gambled while a player, some basic understanding of addiction and human nature says he didn’t wake up one day in 1985 and think, “Hey, you know what I just realized? I have a lot of inside knowledge of baseball!”

The other argument to put him in the Hall is that it’s not the Hall of Nice People. It’s got racists and wife beaters. Even Ray Schalk! What you do on the field is the only thing that matters.

Why does what happens on the field matter? Because fans watch the game. Why to fans watch? Because we believe it’s not fixed. Shitty people make it in the Hall of Fame because they don’t turn the game into a mockery. If we start to think the game isn’t real, we’ll stop paying for twenty-dollar beers. The one thing you can never do in any of the legitimate sports is bet on that sport. 

Otherwise it becomes wrestling. Wrestling is fun. Wrestling has its own Hall of Fame. Guess who’s in it? Not Rickey. 

I’m sure Pete Rose loved baseball. I’m sure being kicked out of baseball ruined him. I’m also sure that he thought he was bigger than the game and could do whatever the hell he wants.

Pete Rose also came to Sacramento. Before we got an official minor league team, we had an unaffiliated team. To give you an idea of how competitive they were, they played their games at a junior college that didn’t serve beer. Pete Rose was there only as a publicity stunt. For him and the team. He used most of the attention not to talk about the kids he was managing, but to complain about the fate of poor wittle Petey Wose.  

Now that Sacramento has grown from unaffiliated to triple-A to, allegedly temporarily, the majors with the A’s coming to town, I was looking forward to Rickey being a staple at the stadium. Some of the others known for showing up at A’s games from time to time, like Eric Byrnes and Dennis Eckersley, aren’t as likely to show up at a minor league park seventy miles away from their former fan base. But Rickey would’ve loved it. If he was happy to be here with minor leaguers, the A’s being here would’ve sweetened the deal even more. 

Unfortunately, that ain’t happening now. 

What I hope is happening is Tony Gwynn and Rickey Henderson reuniting to corner the outfield of the Field of Dreams. Along with other players like Roberto Clemente and Jackie Robinson, both taken too young. 

As an Angel fan, I imagine Nick Adenhart as a pitching equivalent of Moonlight Graham. He pitched a gem to start out what was supposed to be his rookie year, but was killed by a drunken driver before the sun rose the following morning. 

Willie Mays probably anchors centerfield. Not saying he died young, but he loved baseball till the day he died, which is the only requirement to get in.

I just hope when Pete Rose asks to be let him, they give him the old Ty Cobb treatment.  

“None of us could stand the son-of-a-bitch when we were alive, so we told him to stick it.”

Open Letter to Rob Manfred

Dear Commish:

Congrats on your first Opening Day. Not only for you, but for the sport. You make the first legitimate commissioner of Major League Baseball in over twenty years. How nice it must feel to have this important post without the necessity of an owners’ coup. You didn’t have to collude with Jerry Reinsdorf to oust the previous commissioner.  You didn’t have to lead Dick Cheney-esque committee to “look for the next commissioner,” only to find that, lo and behold, there was “no other viable candidate” but yourself. You didn’t have to come up with stupid titles like “acting commissioner” for six years to give you time to sell your team to your sister.

In fact, there doesn’t really seem to be any conflict of interest surrounding you at all. Other than being the afore-referenced commissioner’s hand-picked successor. But for years, Supreme Court Justices and Roger Goodell have been pursuing their own ideas contrary to the desires of the people that put them in that office.

So again, congratulations. The good news is that you are now in charge of a sport that managed to thrive despite your predecessor’s ineptitude.

The bad news is that he made some really stupid decisions that you’re going to have to work around. Good luck providing guidance on that whole “which players that he implicitly encouraged to take steroids to rescue the game from his own mismanagement should get into the Hall of Fame” question. And the fact that one Bay Area team is contractually obligated to play in a shithole because he couldn’t stand up to an owner and reverse an agreement that is no longer economically legitimate. Yeah, you should do something about that.

But the thing I want to focus on is realignment. I know, it’s a scary prospect for a commissioner, considering it was the main topic which allowed your predecessor to tyrannically ouster his own predecessor.

At least it’s not as scary as relocating teams. I might bring that up a little bit, too. But I might pair that with expansion, which should make every commissioner’s eyes sparkle.

So here we go.

One of Selig’s worst boners was one of his last. Like a bad wine, age only turned him to vinegar.  Last year he moved Houston to the American League. This was absolutely stupid. The reason was to give Texas a divisional rival that wasn’t two time zones away. I understand this gripe. However, there were other ways to go about giving them some road games that start before 9:00 PM Dallas time.

Move Kansas City to the AL West. See how easy that was? Accomplishes the same thing as Houston without jacking with the geographic parity of the Leagues.

See, that’s the real problem with moving Houston. I mean, aside from being utterly dismissive to the Astros’ fans and franchise, a franchise that had represented the National League in the World Series less than a decade ago. A franchise that had been in the National League since 1962, the same year as the Mets. Last I checked, no one said “eh, move the Mets to the AL, who cares?”

The leagues should be as geographically balanced as possible. If a fan is within driving distance of two teams, one should be in the American League, and one should be in the National League. The four metropolitan areas that share teams all do that. Prior to the move, four of the five states that share two teams did it. Even Minnesota and Milwaukee form “natural rivals” with a socially similar neighbor. Selig moved the Brewers to the NL, one of the few times he made the right move, albeit for the wrong reasons.

But now, if you live in Texas and want to see a specific National League team or player, your options are to wait three to six years until they visit, or else drive twelve hours to St. Louis or Atlanta.

So who should have been moved to even out the leagues? As I said before, prior to Selig’s nimrodery, there was only one state with its only two teams in the same league.

California? I see you scanning your map. Nope, they have five. Arizona? Texas? No wait, he means before. Let’s see… Not there… there… wait a second… He can’t mean…. Pennsyl…

Okay, breathe Mr. Commissioner. It’ll be okay. You see that reaction you just had? That we can’t possibly mess with the “majesty and history” of some teams but who the hell cares about the Astros? That’s what we call an East Coast Bias. It’s all over your sport. It would be nice if it wasn’t. In case you were wondering, the Houston metropolitan area has just under six million people, making them as viable and important of a fanbase as the Phillies. Pittsburgh? Just under two-and-a-half million, right above those baseball powerhouses in Portland and Charlotte

But yes, either the Phillies or the Pirates should move to the American League. If it was the Pirates, it would be easier to put them into the Central while sending the Royals into the West. Bear in mind the AL Central already has other great Steel-Belt cities like Detroit and Chicago. Oh, and did I mention Cleveland? Go ahead and ask any Browns or Steelers fans if it works having those two cities in the same division.

Philly could move to the AL East, with Toronto moving to the Central. Plus Philadelphia does have some American League history with the A’s. And they would have a closer drive to the closest NL cities than Pittsburgh would. It would mess with the nice AL-NL-AL-NL-AL-NL tradeoff as you drive south through the Bos-Wash corridor. Technically, the Mets technically play south of the Yankees, but that’s just splitting hairs.

After the simple Houston-for-Pennsylvania switch, we’ll be down to only four sets of teams that don’t have natural interleague rivals. In the American League, it’s Detroit, Toronto, Boston, and Seattle. San Diego, Arizona, Colorado, and Atlanta are the National League loners. Interesting how one problem is in the northeast, the other in the southwest. How about either Detroit or Toronto moving to the National League? In the southwest, just send Arizona to the American League West.

You’ll notice on that last one, I didn’t say Arizona or San Diego. Why? This was another flub-up by your predecessor. Arizona was never supposed to be in the National League. They came in with Tampa Bay. But Jerry Colangelo whined that Arizona formed a natural rivalry with Los Angeles and San Francisco (but, magically, not Anaheim and Oakland) and he didn’t want to play in the stinky American League. Selig, complete with every conflict of interest known to mankind, kowtowed to another owner. He then volunteered to move his own team into what was the weakest division in baseball at the time.

Hell, Bud, just have them play some Double-A teams and get back to us in October.

So now we’re down to only four outliers. This is where it gets a little tricky and can’t be solved overnight. The easy answer is to pair Boston and Atlanta, which usually happens anyway under the silly notion that the Braves used to play in Boston. It’s true, but I don’t know how many octogenarians are running to these Interleague games. And what exactly does Atlanta get out of the bargain?

The other match-up’s a little more logical. Denver and Seattle, the two most geographically isolated teams. They also come from the two states where pot is legal, so we don’t have to explain the pairing. Just tell the potheads that “Everybody KNOWS why they’re rivals.” Brought to you by Doritos.

But this seems a temporary fix. Before too long, the remaining five Boston Braves fans will die and other states will legalize marijuana. So we’re going to need to get a little more creative. From here on out, I’m just throwing ideas out there. I’ll leave it to you to decide which is most feasible.

If you’re wondering about the implication of that statement, the answer is yes. Yes, I’ve been telling you how to do your job. But only up until now. From here on, these are just suggestions. You’re on your own.

Florida shouldn’t have two teams. They probably shouldn’t even have one, but definitely not two. Sometime in the late 1980s, someone decided that Florida needed more teams. From 1987-1998, Florida gained one NFL franchise and two teams in each of the other three leagues (baseball, hockey, and basketball). That’s seven teams in eleven years! Is it all that surprising that none of them have taken root, with the exception of the years that the Heat make the NBA Finals?

A few years ago, I would have said the Marlins were the logical team to leave the state, making Tampa Bay as Atlanta’s rival. But then Miami got a new stadium, while the Rays still play in one of the worst.  Not that it matters how good the stadium is, or how good the team is, nobody attends either team’s games. So ship one out, leave the other one playing in the American League in Miami.

So where should the displaced Ray-Marlins go? Let’s move them up to become a rival of the Mariners. The northwest has plenty of room.

Portland, you’re thinking? Nope. Huge population, but not overly interested in baseball. They couldn’t even hold onto their Triple-A team, and kicking them out of town to make way for soccer.

No, I’m talking about Vancouver. Some people think that, since baseball failed in Montreal, Canada’s second-largest city, how could baseball survive in its third-largest? Speaking English can’t hurt. The whole border town thing helps, tooI’ve been to a number of minor league games there, and they regularly have some of the fullest Single-A stadiums I’ve ever seen.

Of course, the question about an NL franchise in Vancouver would be whether they are rivals of Seattle or Toronto. We could fix that, though. Remember baseball failing in Montreal? Want to know whose fault that is? Whoever the jackass was that canceled the World Series when the Expos were on the verge of winning their first championship. They were dominating the competition, 74-40, six games ahead of Atlanta in the NL East and four games ahead of the Yankees for best record in baseball. There was a ballot measure to build a new stadium.

Then Bud Selig and Donald Fehr decided to cancel the season. When baseball came back, Selig made sure it was skewed toward the bigger market teams, because if he couldn’t get fans to come out to the games, he would survive off of advertising. Oh, and steroids.

So give Montreal another shot.

Another dearth of Major League Baseball in the country seems to be the Carolinas.  An American League team would fit very nicely there, partway between the two NL franchises in Atlanta and Washington.  Looking down the list of metropolitan areas, I know Las Vegas is probably a no-go, and some of the other mid-majors, Sacramento and Orlando, don’t work due to proximity of other teams. San Antonio/Austin might fall into that trap, as well, or they might be viable for relocation or expansion. Heck, if you put a National League team there, I might even let you keep the Astros in the American.

Another spot that might work despite a smaller population is Salt Lake City. Much like the Rockies, I think a team there would draw from far outside the metropolitan area. Not just in Utah, but also Idaho. You could also add in a lot of Mormon support as the team traveled. Dropping an AL franchise there would finally help those Rockies stop feeling so isolated.

But yeah, the Utah Salties and Austin Smokehouses might be a little far down the road. Try to work on some of that other stuff first.

But in the meantime, Mr. Manfred, sit back on this Opening Day and enjoy the show.

It’s a beautiful little game we’ve got here.

Hopefully we finally have a commissioner that appreciates that.